i just had the time to read it.
honestly, it's not that bad!
just reading it I can tell you're a japan nerd (but i kinda expected that) and you can kinda tell where the story is going.
just one thing, the last paragraph, it's kinda hard to tell it's from a different character. there's a few things to solve this, either write her thoughts and actions in third person with an omniscient pov, while the MC stays in first person, or maybe just use a different font?